What if the Bully is You?

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bullying, incivility, horizontal violence, RTConnections,
“People were always talking about how mean this guy was who lived on our block. But I decided to go see for myself. I went to his door, but he said he wasn’t the mean guy; the mean guy lived in the house over there. ‘No, you stupid idiot, ‘ I said, that’s my house.”
The bullies can’t be everyone else. Sometimes we have to look in the mirror and take a good, honest look at ourselves.
Ask yourself the following 5 questions:
1.     Has anyone told me that I intimidate other people?
2.     Do I sometimes ridicule a new or inexperienced co-worker?
3.     Do I go out of my way to help some of my co-workers and not others?
4.     Do I secretly enjoy confrontations with people I know I can dominate
5.     Do I sometimes justify behaviors that help “toughen up” new nurses.
If you honestly asked yourself these questions and answered yes to any or all, I’m not saying you are bullying. What I am saying is that you need to go deeper down the rabbit hole to find out.
3 ways to find out if you’re considered a bully by your peers:
1.     Ask someone you trust at work to be honest with you about your behavior.
2.     Admit to your co-workers that you’re concerned about how your behavior is being perceived and that you want your co-workers to be honest and direct with you.
3.     Ask your boss – Chances are, if your co-workers think you’re a bully, they’ve said something to your boss. The problem is, managers don’t always know how to address the issue so don’t assume that just because nobody has every said anything to you that there haven’t been complaints.
 *Excerpt from my book, “Do No Harm” Applies to Nurses Too! To purchase, click here.

You are either contributing to bullying behavior by remaining silent, you are the one who is bullying others, or you are working to eliminate it. Pick one.
I’d love to read your comments on this topic. So, please share below.
Thanks so much for reading. Take care and stay connected!
Remember, nurses should be kind – not cruel!

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4 thoughts on “What if the Bully is You?”

  1. The opposite of bullying is looking for the gold in co-workers. Find out what they do best and ask them to give you pointers.
    Offer to help them when you see they have something difficult to do.
    Say "Yes" when they ask for help.
    Support them in getting their work done. Tell them you are done and is there anything you can do to help them get complete.
    If you have a job to do that you don't like see if you can trade with a nurse who loves that procedure. For instance, if you hate to draw blood see if a co worker will do it for you if you will do a treatment they hate to do.
    Offer to work Chanaka, Passover and Yom Kipurr if they wi;; work Easter, Christmas and New Year for you. This worked for me and a co-worker for 25 years.

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